We've got a jumper!

Oh! Hi there :)

  So this week (or two) has been quite crazy not only with work but also with some personal issues. I am currently writing to you from my jail cell in China... Ok so It's not that bad but I was at the Bureau of Foreign Affairs trying to get my visa worked out because my visa has long been expired. It turns out that the visa I applied for isn't exactly what my boss and I thought it was so I have some things to get worked out. However, I'll leave that downer story for later considering right now all is well with me besides this stressful situation and I am in good health and have plenty of anecdotes for you in this week's edition of: THE WILD ADVENTURES OF TONY GGGGGGGGGGGG. Hahaha, I literally said that out loud as I typed it and now people are looking at me funny... nevermind

  So let's see here, on the itinerary for today we will talk about a jumper on a bridge as the title states (don't worry it's not as bad as you might think), having another party at the new apartment, speaking a little Spanish at said party, doing a bit of shopping at the fake market (this time without my Chinese mom), buying an electric scooter and almost dying 5 times the first day, getting a new roommate for 2 months, saying goodbye to all the people I've recently met as they all return home after their 1 year college program, a funny little anecdote about a local woman I saw while traversing the streets of Shanghai, a little Chinese culture lesson and last but not least a story about a fun (and prosperous) tour that I had just the other day.

  So I was leading a tour of the famous embankment of Shanghai called the Bund the other day and as I was walking towards the meeting point, there was a huge gathering of people and police on a bridge that I cross on the way. It seemed as though there was an older gentleman sitting on top of the bridge and didn't want to come down. At first I thought it might be a suicide attempt but looking at the distance from the top of the bridge to the surface of the water I knew it wasn't so. The man also seemed very calm and collected and not nervous at all so I was confident that he wasn't going to jump. I watched for a little bit before I was moved along by the local law enforcement and continued to my destination.

  I met up with my guest and my two recently hired Chinese colleagues (as they had never seen a tour before so they came with me to experience one first-hand) and we walked back over the bridge to the first site of the tour. The older gentleman was still there and my Chinese colleagues started translating his bantering for me. Apparently he was there in protest. Whew, that made me feel better. I didn't want a bad ending to “befall” him (is that too evil a joke?). Eventually he came down after negotiating for quite some time with local authorities but who knows what happened to him afterwards or if his demands were met. I just hope whatever he was protesting was a just cause. Either way, it was a fun “stop” on the tour for my guest.

  So one of my roommates just left for the Netherlands for two months for a nice return trip home after being here in China for about a year. Considering many of our friends have just left or will be leaving soon, we decided to throw a nice going away party for everyone. This party went over a lot better than the last one and there were only a few mishaps.

  I don't think I told you about the last party we had besides the fact that we had a good time and that we might have gone a little overboard. Well, last time we had a situation where a girl locked herself inside of my bathroom and couldn't figure out how to unlock the door. Sound familiar Grandma and Poppa? When I was a young laddie I did the same thing in my grandparents house and I believe it was my Poppa that had to climb up a ladder and through the bathroom window (Beatles anyone?) and help me open the door to get out. After-wards, he taped over the lock and to this day, it's still like that.

  Welllllll, we couldn't really climb up on a ladder to help her unlock the door since we're on the 16^th floor so we instead decided to go with the next most obvious solution which was to break the glass pane of the door and reach in and unlock it. Brilliant right? Sort of... my roommate cut his hand on some of the glass and it went showering everywhere. However, we did get the door unlocked and the landlord paid for half of the glass since it was partially the door's fault of having a bad wheel track which led to a hard time unlocking it.

  Anyway, at this most recent party, we had the same thing happen but this time it was so weird because apparently the door had locked by itself and nobody was inside. Well how can we solve this without breaking glass this time? We had a couple ideas about how to open the door (mind you we don't have keys to the bathrooms) but none of them worked. There was one option of climbing out of one of our bathroom windows and going across a bit of a gap and climbing inside the window of the other bathroom, but that was out of the question. As I mentioned before, we are on the 16^th floor.

  Well I was talking in Spanish with a guy named Mauricio that I had just met who is from Costa Rica and told him of our dilemma. Mauricio promptly ran to the bathroom window and hopped out on the ledge where he proceeded to make his way to the other bathroom window and climbed right in. IT! WAS! NUTS! He unlocked the door and laughed and we couldn't believe it. Well, it was time to take advantage of the situation so my roommates and I promptly took cellophane tape and put it over the locks of the bathroom doors so that it wouldn't happen again. Girls were worried about their privacy so I made an announcement about the “buddy system.” Everyone had to find a friend to guard the door for them if they had any concerns and the party went on! Until the power went out...

  Apparently our grid can't support all of our air conditioners, our TV, all of our lights, computers playing music and our loud sound system at the same time. No worries, we just told our local security guards and they had an electrician there in less than 5 minutes and he fixed it. With a wave goodbye and a fresh cold beer in his hand he left us to resume the party. The guitar came out and several people played and sang and the night ended quite well. I'm going to miss a lot of the people that I just met but it's crazy to know that I have contacts in so many countries that I've never had before. Looks like I have plenty of the world to go see still.

  So I bought a scooter from my roommate and oh man is it fun. It's definitely the best way to get around Shanghai because it's small enough to weave in and out of traffic with and it's fast enough to drive with regular traffic while also being controlled enough to ride on the (crowded) sidewalks. The only problems that you run into when riding these is that for one, they are smaller than cars so the cars like to take control and won't stop for you and two, everyone who drives a scooter is a maniac!

  The first day I was driving around I almost got run over or got into an accident at least 5 times each. I would hate to drive a car in Shanghai but a scooter is a bit easier to maneuver and it's actually a lot of fun. I don't ride it often but I went for a night ride the other night and it was really relaxing and soothing. The next day, my roommate and I took our scooter's to the fake market to do a bit of shopping and boy was it a blast.

  Walking into the fake market is a little overwhelming because immediately the shop owners circle you like hungry sharks. They know you're there to buy and they want your money in their pockets. They yell out “Hello lady/sir, please come in and have a look.” The trick is to pretend like you're not interested but check out the goods as you walk by. If you see something that you like, go to another little shop that has the exact same stuff and ask them how much they are selling it for. Once you know the “base price” as I will call it then head over to another stall with the same product and tell them you will give them about 1/6 of the price that the former shop told you. They'll counter offer with something a bit higher but you will have already cut quite a bit of the “tourist price” as it's called.

  Well my roomie Bo and I went in with a purpose and we were going to get the lowest prices that we could or we weren't buying! It's really fun to barter with a lot of the shop owners and it's really entertaining most of the time because most of the shop owners are beautiful young women that are specifically employed for rich foreign businessmen. Well Bo and I weren't putting up with any of their gab and when they tried to get us to pay a ridiculous price, we would switch over to Chinese and start yelling back and forth about prices and quality and we let them know that we weren't tourists so we know the real deals. This threw them off sometimes because they weren't ready for it. All in all word got around and soon when Bo and I were walking past shops, no one was inviting us in. Success!

  I ended up buying some new clothes because my wardrobe is a bit lacking in color and variety and I finally broke down and had to submit to the Chinese heat. I don't know how many of you have ever seen me wear shorts on a regular basis, but that's all I've been wearing for the past two or three weeks. Another crazy thing is that I bought polos! How many of you have seen me wear a polo on a regular basis?! Oh my gosh, it's a new Tony G. Am I finally getting a sense of style? Well, I wouldn't count on that but maybe I'm getting on the right track. I should probably take some pictures of me rockn the new look so I'll get those online soon.

  Whoa! There is a guy outside hanging from a rope washing the windows on our building...he can look in and see everything and it's weirding me out... Talking about weird, I was walking to work the other day and the sun was really harsh outside. Chinese women really go out of their way to avoid all of the suns rays to keep their skin as light as possible. Here in China, the lighter your skin is, the more successful people believe you to be because you must get to stay inside all day everyday and you probably have lots of money and don't have to go work. It's funny because in the US, we want to get nice and tan to show people how much time we can get OUT of the office. Most women in Shanghai wear these unique arm-length sleeves to protect their arms and then will wear visors to cover their face. Well when I passed a woman on the street, this is what she was wearing:

  Oh man I almost cracked up right there but I restrained myself. The funniest part was when I came home and recreated it then had my roommate take a picture of me. I know I look ridiculous but that is EXACTLY the same setup the lady was wearing. I hope she could see well enough because she was on the road during rush hour and drivers are NOT nice.

  I mentioned earlier that my roommate left for the Netherlands for two months and during that time, we found a person to take his place. His name is Frederic and he is from zee great country of France. He's a good guy and although he's a bit older than us, he still is light humored and is easy to get along with. He can also sleep like a rock which is great because sometimes Bo and I aren't the most quiet at night when we're playing video games or watching movies. He's out here on a short term teaching contract and he's been enjoying himself. Hopefully I'll be able to pick up a bit of French from him but it's not my biggest priority. Either way, it's nice living with people that are easy to get along with and it helps lend to my very stress-free life.

  So as I mentioned I have been having some visa issues and had to learn the hard way about the fine lines of visas and what the rules are in China. I've had to pay a hefty fine and as of right now I'm actually in Hong Kong obtaining a new visa but I will be writing a new blog about Hong Kong in a few days after I experience it a bit more. Essentially I've had to pay quite a bit of money and have had to go through quite a few steps to getting out of China to obtain a new one and there is some doubt about the new one that I will be obtaining. However, I would like to say that even though I've been under a bit of financial duress and that I've had this looming over me for quite some time, I've always ended every day with an indefatigable smile (I just learned that word so I thought I'd throw it in hehe).

  I'm so happy living in Shanghai and I've been very happy with my friends and experiences and I know that life is good no matter what. Even with all of these problems that have come up lately, I know that I don't have it bad. You always have to look on the bright side of life and enjoy it as it comes. Make the best of what you have and always think towards the future, not the past. And now, I have something that I want to share with you that virtually no one knows about me.

  I have to admit that I have supernatural powers much like a superhero but I can't save people from falling from tops of buildings or who are in trouble with the Joker but I can make people smile. Another thing I've never told anyone is that I like to get really, really high sometimes.  When I say I like to get really high it's very true, but my supernatural abilities include being able to get high on nothing more than a song, a subway ride and nice scenery. I can't tell you how many times I've been riding the subway home from a hard day of work when a song comes on my iPod and I look out the window of the subway (the line I ride is actually above ground... kind of weird) and I just get a smile from ear to ear and start tapping my fingers and feet and look around at all of the people on the subway and I just smile at them and my adrenaline pumps so much that I feel like I need to jump up and down and get them all singing or laughing or something. I know this all sounds ridiculous but it's all true, I get high on life. So yes life has been very trying lately and I have been thrown some curve balls but I'm going to keep on keeping on because this world already has too many pessimists and I'm not going to be one of them.

  Another happy event that took place a few days ago was a tour with 4 guests that was comprised of two groups of 2 and they got along so well with each other it almost makes me cry tears of joy. I can't tell you how much I love being an intermediary for people. It allows me to not only experience my own happiness but the happiness of others around me which is so intoxicating it's ridiculous. Leading them around was so fun because they were really very excited about what I was showing them and they knew so much about the history already that is was so fun to talk about events and people from the past and learn from each other.

  I've already told my boss that after my contract ends, I'm not sure if I will renew the current type of agreement doing the current work that I am doing now but I know for a fact that at the very least I will be a part time tour guide with him because leading tours makes me so happy. At the end of the tour I was leading that day, I passed out my name cards and was telling them how much I enjoyed their company and how much I hoped they enjoyed the tour and they stopped me and told me that it was a blast and when all was said and done, I walked away with a 200% tip... that's more than I make in a day working for the company. I'm always amazed by the generosity of people from around the world and I can't get enough of meeting new people everyday. It's definitely another contribution to me getting high on life.

  Okey doke!  To end this blog I thought that I'd go ahead and learn you some Chinese culture! As I was walking home from work the other night, there was a fire raging in the street right outside of my apartment complex. I was a bit worried at first but then I saw some Chinese people around the fire throwing things into it and I immediately knew what it was. Here are some pictures of what was going on.

  What are they doing? Any guesses? No?  Well they are actually performing an ancient ritual in which they are helping out/praying to their ancestors. You see, the Chinese practice ancestral worship to help their ancestors out in the afterlife. This isn't just for the benefit of their ancestors but also a bit of brown nosing for themselves. If they help out their ancestors then their ancestors in turn can put in a good word for them so that when it's their time to leave this world, they will already have a bit of pull wherever it is that their spirits go. Well what does that have to do with fire? The fire is a gateway for objects to reach their ancestors. Items are burned in the fire and as they burn, they are sacrificed in the name of their ancestors and in turn the ancestors receive these items in the afterlife.

  It was very common for people in the past to burn real money, animals and even houses. Nowadays, people will burn lots of fake money, paper houses and even food. Now this is just a brief overview of what the ritual is actually like but I feel I've already dragged on a bit considering I haven't put out a post in awhile.

  So in the end, I've been happy lately regardless of the hardships I've endured and I'm really just thankful to be experiencing what I have been. I hope all of you will forgive me for my absence of posts but I promise that I will be putting out another one very soon about Hong Kong and my times here. I can't tell you how much I miss you all and I really, really hope things are going well. Please just do me a favor today after you read this and give a stranger a smile or make someone laugh. It's so easy to make this world a better place and to be cheesy in my ending, I'd like to make it better one smile at a time. (I swear that McDonald's isn't paying me for this)

Arrividerci!

Tony G.


Link to Pics: http://s875.photobucket.com/albums/ab316/munkyguitarist/We%20have%20got%20a%20jumper/