The Debt We All Owe

  So I was thinking about what to write this week for my blog and I've got some good stories and some good tales of adventure in the good 'ol idea bank but I've been talking with a lot of people lately about what we're all doing and I think that instead of talking about me and my days in Shanghai, I thought maybe we could talk about you and all of the impact you've had on my life and all of the advice and support you've given me? Is that ok? If it's not ok, it's too bad because I'm the one doing the writing. So there.

  I was having a great conversation with my buddy Charlie Bollig today via Facebook chat and we were talking about our futures and our pasts and how they relate to the present. It's interesting to see that one year ago give or take him and I were rooming together in the dorms of our international school out here in Shanghai. During that trip, I did not have a very good time due to some circumstances that don't hold much bearing here but Charlie was taking life by the horns and going all out every day not only in exploring the city and partying but also with studying. He hit everything with so much dedication it was really great to see. He even got up almost every morning at 6am to go for a run and workout which takes discipline no doubts about it.

  He kept telling me to enjoy Shanghai for what it was and to leave everything behind and live in the now but I was so caught up in the past that I couldn't bear to do it. I remember saying things like “I'm NEVER coming back to China” or “I hate China” and when I told him that I had found work here, he rightfully gave me grief about what I had said the previous year. Well being out here now is easily one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life and the support from all of you in doing so has made it that much sweeter. I proudly wear the pride I feel when people tell me that I'm so brave to go into a whole new country almost all alone and I encourage others to experience it all just the same. Many people tell me that it must be hard to do what I'm doing when in reality it's quite easy and I want to talk today about happiness I guess. I'm honestly just free writing this without many revisions so I'll just take it where it leads me.

  Needless to say, my buddy Charlie is working on his own plan to get out here with work or studying and I'm so excited for him to start his next chapter of life. My buddy Cameron from a couple of posts ago even mentioned that having us come back out to China to live and work also most likely makes our Chinese teacher happy which is something that she deserves wholeheartedly. I still remember talking with her just about everyday in class and I've not met many people who are as kind and wise as she is. She always believed in me and helped me through classes especially when I skipped the second year of Chinese and went straight into the third year. She was always there to talk with me when times were rough and she was also there to scold me when I wasn't doing my best. Laoshi, thank you so much for your continued support even while I've been in China this time and I hope that life is treating you well.

  I constantly have flashbacks to college and the good times that were had. I keep up with two of the best friends I made as much as I can and it's really, really good to hear what they have to say. They are so full of wisdom and are yearning to find their next step and I think they are both well on the way to finding it. My friend Andy Patton always helps me get through the tough times as well because him and I have shared much of the same pain and hardships over the years but we've also experienced the beauty of life together even more so. I can always count on him for a laugh but when there are pressing matters at hand, he's always ready to get down to business. I can't tell you how much him and I used to talk and talk during college about anything and everything in between. I'll never forget those nights (although some of them I couldn't remember in the first place) and I'll always look to him for advice or when I need to enjoy life.

  Another great friend I made in college with whom I'm still very close with today is my friend Scott Flanigan from the first post I ever wrote. He has always shown me compassion and given great advice from experience. He is not one to give me false hope nor is he one to sugar coat things because if he's giving advice, he's saying it like it is which is a trait that is hard to come by these days, even in the best of friends. He is ready for a change of pace and wants to move out of the country to gain some good life experience and I'm excited to be part of it as we will be exploring the world together and it's going to be nothing less than a story I will tell all of my children and grandchildren.

  Scott and Andy are not the only ones who made an impact on me during college either and in fact there are so many people that I would love to mention but I think my posts are already long enough as they are and I can't mention everyone :(. Another really prominent figure in college was my RA in the dorms both of my years I lived in them. That's right, I'm talking about Neal Bohnen, the man himself. He, very much like my parents and family was disappointed in me when I dropped out of school. We still remained friends but I could see that I had lost status with him when he heard the news. In fact, I went and talked to him about it before I told anyone else. The best part about it was that he didn't tell me I was wrong. He didn't tell me that what I was doing was the most idiotic thing I'd ever do in my lifetime. He didn't tell me that he didn't want to be associated with me anymore. He told me that I need to do things for myself and that I had some thinking and experiencing to do. This man is wise beyond his years and is now a great husband to his beautiful wife and I can't say that he's anyone different today. If you need his email address, I'll sell it for 5 bucks a pop (sorry Neal, no money for you hehe).

  Dropping out led me to the association of another previous RA who then became my girlfriend who then became a great friend that I cherish to this day. Yes, I'm talking about the one and only Marcella Burg! Marcella and I were in the same boat as far as dropping out of school and coincidentally we also worked in the same restaurant while we were finding out what we wanted out of life. We started dating and when it came time for the spring semester to start she basically gave me an ultimatum (or at least this is how I remember it haha) and she said “I want to date someone who's in school.” Needless to say, she was honestly the person more than anyone that pushed me to enroll again and when I did oh my goodness was I welcomed to a whole new world by all of my friends and family.

  I think one of the proudest moments of my life was the day I graduated college and I got calls and letters and emails from everyone I know that were saying some of the most positive things I've ever heard or read. However, few of them knew that it was Marcella that had really given me the push I needed to start my college career again. Once I got back into school, it was easy to find out what I was passionate about and I have to say that at that point in my life, I found out SO much about myself and it definitely began to add to the identity that I have today. Thank you Marcella for being the one who got through to me and helped me get my life back on track. To this day, I still remain in contact with Marcella and in fact, I like to refer to her as my editor as she is usually the first person I send any of my writings to for a look because she herself is a great writer and she always has great advice and criticism for me. (But she better not leak any of my material!!!!! =P)

  Along with Marcella, there was a duo of friends who I'll always think of as a duo because that's how I met them and that's how I always interacted with them. Ms. Jessica Whyte and Mrs. Liz Bickel! Firstly, congratulations to Liz for the newborn baby Liam! He looks very handsome and Liz is going to make a wonderful mother. Well, these two dear friends always helped me out so much while we lived in the dorms together and they were always happy to spend some time together and have a good laugh. During my time as a college dropout they also constantly checked up on me to make sure I was doing well and to make sure I was taking care of myself. They too were also ecstatic to learn that I was going back to school and they were SO supportive of me once I was back. I still proudly wear one of my favorite Guns n' Roses T shirts that they gave me and I'll always remember their kindness.

 Another fantastic group, this time a trio of friends were my three roommates that I lived with for 2 years of my life and we had some times that were some of the best I've ever experienced. Trevor Toms, Shaun Reed and Bryan Nydegger. What a great bunch of guys. We were all SO diverse and SO different but when together, we had great conversations and even better times. I think we all did a lot of growing up during the time we lived together and I think that all of us living together was just what the doctor ordered at that time in our lives. I met so many nice people through them and I remember that they would always go out of their way for me like a family. We often found ourselves being meshed in with the dynamic duo that I mentioned just above and here is a great pic of all of us together. Brings back very fond memories and it's so cool to been able to have lived life with these guys always right by side.

 I want to briefly mention another person that was prominent in my life for quite some time but I can't really put everything I would really want to say in words. I'll just mention I have Amy MacDaniel to thank as being a huge influence in my life and leave it at that.

  I especially have to give a huge shout out to my immediate family and especially to my brother Ryan who I never thought would be one of my best friends in life. We started out being exactly like two brothers who were two years apart: mortal enemies. We did not get along at all while we lived at my parents house but right when I left for college, we got along really well. I remember one time when he came and visited me when he was a senior in high school and my friends and I took him to a party to “corrupt his mind.” I remember we were all giving him advice about college and what to expect and what is blown way out of proportion. I remember he thanked me for showing him my brotherly love and it really impacted me because before I had always seen him as just a brother because we had the same parents, not because of the bond that we shared. From that moment on, I realized that family is one of the most important things you can ever have and we CAN'T take it for granted. Ever since then, I've looked to my brother for support in the roughest of times and I've also looked to him with questions about life that I feel he has more experience with. He's been a great pal throughout the last few years and I'm honestly glad that we went to the same college. I don't know what I would've done if he didn't. I miss you like crazy man and I'm looking forward to heading back stateside so we can hang out and throw a big 'ol party. Like you said, “there isn't enough booze in the world” for the bash we'll be throwing haha.

  Ok, just a few left I promise! Seth Yoder, thank you sir for being a no bullshit kind of guy. Seth was my drummer in the previous world renowned band Tony G. and the Cure for Cancer. He was always the one wearing the masks on the drum set. Not only was he a fantastic drummer but a fantastic friend and a truly wise individual. This guy reads more than a librarian and has such a hunger for knowledge it's unreal. He always had a story in store for me whenever I asked his advice and I'll never forget great the great words that he had to say. Some of the best advice I think I've ever received was a simple thing he told me one time at band practice. He said, “if you're honest with yourself, then it'll be good.” We were talking about writing lyrics and guitar licks but I've taken it further than that and have applied it to many of life's experiences. One of the hardest things in life is to be true to yourself and he nailed it on the head. I've lived by this mantra very steadily and I've found nothing less than nirvana.

  Ok, saving best for last although to be honest I'm not picking favorites, it's just that this guy was the biggest influence on me during my younger life which helped develop the foundation of who I am today. Everything started with this guy, Chris Moore. Navy Toads, enough said haha. Ok, there are only two people in the world who will understand that but anyway, Chris and I were really close in the later years of elementary school and we remained close all the way through high school. During all of this time we hit a lot of big stages in life together and it was always easy to have someone to rely on while taking such big steps. In elementary school I remember that he and I would always walk to each others houses and would have such great times with our imaginations and with the simplest of objects. Our friendship never faltered and when entering the scary world of high school, we were always right there together hanging out and having a good time. We were both the kind of kids that never had one “clique” but rather would hang out with several different ones as neither of us really to belonged to one or the other. He was really the first person who showed me what it meant to be yourself and to have your own identity. He didn't need to act like anyone else to be somebody. He didn't need to follow the direction of others to get where he wanted to go. He always lived for himself but not selfishly. He was always the kindest of friends and I'm really sad that we didn't get to experience college together although the world would have exploded from this awesomeness haha. I really wish that we hadn't grown apart as much as we did after we both started college but that's how the world worked and that's how it was. I just want you to know that you were the first best friend I had and that you'll always have my respect and friendship. I can't wait to see you when I get back in the states. It'll be a long awaited reunion.

  Well for all of those of you that I didn't mention by name, please remember that you all have an impact on my life and that I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for all of the love, prayers and support that you've selflessly given. I realize that the debt I owe is indeed a large one and I'm going to do my best to pay you all back in full. I also want all of you to thank the people that made you who you are and to never forget how you got to where you are now. I think we all take for granted the help and support we have received in the past and I would like to hear stories from you about others who are very prominent in your life. Have you tried to repay the debt that we all owe?

Tony G.